


everyone's a building burning (with no one to put the fire out)

by quentintarrantino



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 05:58:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/936220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quentintarrantino/pseuds/quentintarrantino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Newt looks at him every morning like this is their first and not their thousandth, Hermann likes that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	everyone's a building burning (with no one to put the fire out)

Hermann’s hands are long and white, pale and usually dusty from the blackboards and slightly dried out from all the exposure to the must and cruel elements. They stand out in stark contrast to the blues and reds and oranges that are painted on Newt’s body, his fingers trailing over each individual Kaiju like it was their first night together rather than their hundredth. Like every fearsome face was one he had not seen before and Newt liked that, the feel of those familiar hands over his body, idly tracing patterns laid down by faded black ink.

//

“Out of the way! Out of the way you idiots!” ordered a disgruntled German, shoving the people out of the way that had accumulated to gawk at the man crumpled against the wall of the lab like he was some kind of spectacle. Newton’s head was buried in his arms, knees drawn to his chest and curled into a little ball for protection from the outside world, shivering ever so often and Hermann cursed himself for getting lost in his work and not reminding his partner to take his medication. The bottle was nestled in the mathematician’s pocket, and he turned his head to give the best glare he could to the remaining stragglers gawking at the Kaiju fanatic’s plight. “Don’t you have anything better to be doing you half wits?” he snarled, dispersing the last few and only when the lab was empty did he turn his attention to Dr. Geiszler.

Getting down on his knees was impossible, so using his cane to hook around the leg of a chair he dragged it over to him, scooting as close as he could to hunch over the desolate little figure. “Newton…” the words were in a softer tone Hermann reserved for no one. “Newton here.” He fumbled with the child proof cap and shoved the little colored pills into the man’s hand. “Take these and you’ll feel better.” He hooked his finger underneath his partner’s chin and tilted his head up, using an impatient thumb to wipe away the bulk of the tears that were streaming down the man’s face. The pills slipped between his lips and Newton looked at him with watery eyes before swallowing, his body sagging almost in relief as his cheek rested against Hermann’s knee. He felt the mathematician’s fingers run through his hair and Newt felt bad that he was crying all over him.

“I’m sorry-,”

“Shut up you petulant fool.” Came the reply, sharp as a whip and the comforting motion of his fingers through his hair grew gentler, his hand traveling to lift Newton’s head back up so he could pull his glasses off his face and more aptly dab at his runny nose and tears with a handkerchief he had on hand at all times. It was a bit of a mystery how Newt had never seen it except for when it was needed, some kind of subspace storage, he dwelled on this while he was allowing himself to get cleaned up and Hermann’s face remained steely, his features impassive. “I apologize for not reminding you, I know you forget these things.” He spoke after a moment when the job was done and the only thing left was the puffy red rimmed eyes and Newt leaned back into him, resting his head on his partner’s knee, the stroking resumed but Newton reached for a hand to snag and hold, Hermann allowed him to and the soft white fingers rubbed circles, chalk dust leaving little phantom strokes on his skin.  

\\\

Bullies were everywhere, it was a fact about life that Newt had come to accept. Whether he was in high school or a nursing home they were always going to pick on him because he was different and that was just the way it was going to be from now until the day he died which certainly made him less enthusiastic to live out his life. He took it well he supposed, the technicians that laughed at him or made jokes about his tattoos in the mess hall when he was in line to get food, they tripped him or pushed papers out of his hands and there was nothing to be done about it. He accepted the abuse with a grain of salt and would retreat back to the lab, seeking shelter with his lunch near Hermann who would eye him like he knew what was going on but wasn’t willing to intervene just yet hoping the other man would do it himself.

Newt wouldn’t, he wasn’t a hero. He was five foot seven and weighed one hundred and thirty three pounds. His urge to fight hadn’t been with him since High School when the bipolar disorder had taken a nasty turn and he hadn’t been taking his pills for an indefinite amount of time, lots of black eyes and near expulsions. Besides he could be the brave one and man up to assume the role of scapegoat if that meant the others were left alone, being laughed at was a small price to pay, at least that’s what he told himself to feel better at night.

As a general rule of thumb he skipped dinner at night, just because by that time he was working and to go eat would disrupt the whole thing. Hermann would always bring something back and they would eat, or he would push food into his face and Newt would open his mouth to receive it (“This is pathetic Newton by the gods _feed yourself_ ”). His lab partner had left a few hours ago, he was usually back within one and when Newt finally did run out of steam he had looked around and with a bit of unnecessary worry creeping through his mind gone off to look for him.

He was sure he had just gotten caught up talking to Stacker or maybe even Mako, they liked to chat sometimes didn’t they? Besides he could just say that he had gotten hungry and decided to go to the mess hall. Shoving his hands deep into his pockets he began the climb up to the middle of the base where the food was beckoning and more importantly, Hermann.

“Where’s your boyfriend, Gottlieb?” the words made Newt freeze just before he rounded a corner, hearing the voices of his usual tormentors.

“I’m sure I don’t know what you’re talking about,” came the rather miffed response and Hermann it would seem was not easily intimidated by those who weren’t as smart as he was. “If you’ll excuse me-,”

“Everyone else does, you and that freak show scientist have been hooking up. I bet he’s the one who takes it up the ass too, little bitch he is. Can’t even stand up for himself.” The amuse reply sounded and Newt’s cheeks burned with shame but there was a sharp inhale from Hermann followed by the sound of something hard hitting skin and an agonized cry. Alarmed, Newt rounded the corner to see the man who liked to spend his afternoons pushing him into the ground on the floor with the brunt side of Hermann’s cane pressed against his throat.

If his lab partner saw him at all he ignored him, his jaw clenched and face flushed in what seemed to be genuine fury as he put pressure on the cane and the man make a strangled noise. “Ignorant swine,” he hissed, R’s rolling like the storm brewing outside the base. “You are not to go near him again, do you understand?” the pressure increased and the look in Hermann Gottlieb’s eyes was that of murder.

“You’re batshit.” The man choked out, forcing the cane away from his throat and staggering to his feet where he started moving the opposite direction, backing away from the mathematician. “You’re both fucking crazy.” And with that he was gone.

Hermann turned, the color in his face still lingering as he flipped his cane back around and began walking, and looking at Newt  as though he had just caught him on an evening stroll. “I brought food.” He muttered, passing him.

Newt caught his arm, forcing the man to stop and look at him. “What was that all about?” his mouth worked furiously around the words, his pitch hiking up in incredulousness.

Hermann said nothing, instead he wretched his arm out of his grip and grabbed a fistful of his shirt to drag him back down to the lab. “Come Newton.” Was the order that was snarled over his shoulder.

//

 Hermann wasn’t an incredibly affectionate person; he was not accustomed to touch and warmth and thus tended to shy away from it. Newt was not, he was always touching things, people, smiling and laughing. Newt was like the sun, full of energy and burning bright and Hermann was like… like Pluto. Some barren rock so far off the map that not even NASA wanted it in their solar system. Of course Newt had known from day one Hermann’s policy on touching and since the arrangement had been made he had made it a point to touch him constantly simply because he could.

It had started early on when Hermann had been inspecting his equations, looking over for any signs that something had gone amiss and he felt arms curl around his waist, making him jump and squirm to get away but they held fast and upon looking down to see the tattoos wrapped around the limbs he relaxed but only slightly. “What in God’s name are you doing?” he fumed.

“Nothin’.” Came the casual response and while Hermann was still disgruntled by the display of affection he had to admit it felt nice. Newt’s amused grin was evident in his voice when he leaned his chin on his partner’s shoulder. “Just pretend like I’m not here dude.”

“That’s proving difficult provided that you are so far into my personal space.” Hermann retorted, goosebumps erupting on his neck when he felt Newt’s stubble brush against his skin.

“Just shut up and do your math alright man.” And for once Hermann didn’t argue, and he did check, it took a little longer with this added distraction but he found that there were no mistakes and when he was finished just as quickly as it had started Newt had untangled himself and gone back to work on his side so Hermann could finish filling out paperwork.

Next it had been kisses good morning.

Hermann was usually dressed and at the mess hall by the time Newton woke up, eating breakfast and reviewing notes for meetings or reading a journal of some kind, because when Newt finally did get to sleep he slept like the dead and it was no use waking him because he would just swear at him and roll over, telling him to go away. However gradually this began to change and the scientist was waking up next to him, blinking sleep out of his eyes and dragging himself out of bed with a groan, making coffee for himself with the little machine he kept in his room. The beverage that came out of it looked like sludge but Newt drank it just the same with no complaints, rubbing his face with his hair even more mussed then usual as he leaned against the counter top and watched Hermann button his shirt all the way up to his neck in the mirror.

This morning routine was new and only slightly awkward, Hermann didn’t like being watched while he dressed but he supposed it was only fair because he rather enjoyed watching Newt get undressed so he dealt with it. Besides, the scientist was way too exhausted to make conversation and when Hermann was finished, pulling his enormous jacket on he nodded a small goodbye to make his way down to breakfast like he did every morning.

“Wait,” came the sleep ridden voice and Hermann paused, turning to see his bedmate looking rather groggy, but he set his mug down and reached out, pulling him back into the room by his jacket.

“Newton what are you-,” but he couldn’t get the entire sentence out because Newt had connected their mouths and Hermann’s cheeks flushed bright as a group of people walked by and stopped to stare before shuffling along. Their affectionate sides so far had been limited to them being alone in a dark room together at night, hands and mouths would get lost and while it was all enjoyable this was so violently new that Hermann wasn’t sure what to do with it and so he abruptly pulled away, looking at Newton as though he’d lost his damn mind.

“I’ll see you at the lab alright?” was all he had to say to explain himself and then he was done, returning to his coffee and nursing it while he stared off into miserable space.

It went like this, back and forth, Hermann grew accustomed and then one morning Newt hadn’t stopped him like he usually did, he said he didn’t feel well and didn’t make a move to even embrace him, he just stood there looking at him and managing a half hearted wave in his shirt and boxers with his disgusting sludge in a mug. He had been thrown off by it, the morning kiss had started out as a nuisance and invasion of personal space but now he had grown to like it, he quite liked Newt and there was something about being kissed when they weren’t in the dark that made his heart twist like he was having a heart attack. Pausing at the door way in debate he sighed, crossing the space of their small living quarters before pressing a kiss to Newt’s forehead which did indeed feel warm and when he pulled away Newton was smiling at him like he’d just won the Nobel Prize.

“Take some vitamins.” Was all Hermann had to say, blushing as he hurried out on his way to breakfast.

\\\

Hermann’s tolerance for affection had grown, Newt still touched him at strange points in the day but the strangeness of the fact that he wanted to touch him had worn off and whenever he felt hands or lips press against him he accepted them while continuing on with whatever he was doing.

Over time however they seemed to slow, and Newt spent more time back in his corner like he had before all of this started and Hermann began to miss his presence. The attention was addictive, and slowly, almost without realizing he was doing it, he would venture over to his side to investigate his work. Newt would be carving away at a carcass and inspecting bits and pieces of Kaiju innards and Hermann would take a seat and watch him work if only for a few minutes, forcing himself to take interest. The look Newton gave him, a bashful grin like he was flattered that his lab partner was trying for his sake made it worth it.

He started initiating touch, when they were alone in the lab and it was lunch time, Newt was reading something on the couch he would go sit beside him, letting his hand drift towards the other man’s and looking up from his book he would eye Hermann before surrendering his hand and at last content, Hermann would sit with him until it was time to get back to work. Kisses had been tricky, as the man had been unsure when was the proper time to do such things but sensing his apparent uneasiness with this facet of their relationship Newt had pioneered the way for him and Hermann had followed his example.

It had grown almost normal, to wake up and touch and kiss their way through the day, when Newton was removed from him for an extended period of time it became uncomfortable, anxiety sparked and it was rather strange, being dependent on someone like this, he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not.

They became loose with their touches, Hermann did it now almost without thinking and while walking down the halls somehow their hands always happened to press together or in the mess hall Newt would, without being aware, lean back against Hermann who would continue talking to whomever he was talking to without missing a beat.

When they slept together before they made sure there was a safe amount of distance and now when Hermann woke up in the morning the sheets were a tangled mess and Newton’s head was buried in his collarbone, they would lay in bed and talk about Kaiju guts or theorems, Newts chin resting on his chest and his glasses placed haphazardly on his face.

//

Newton’s hands are wide and callused from working in the field and hacking into alien bodies all day. They trace the severe lines on Hermann’s face, fingers dipping into the little valleys his cheekbones make and his mouth always smiles in response to his partner’s frown when he asks if he can even grow facial hair. Newt looks at him every morning like this is their first and not their thousandth, Hermann likes that.


End file.
